My Life After

So, it's been a couple of months since my beloved husband, Brentley, passed away. Being a middle-aged, stay-at-home wife had its advantages and disadvantages. I loved my husband with my whole heart, but I lived in a shadow, unable to make my own. But now, I could finally do what I wanted to do with my life - find a new and fulfilling purpose! When Brentley was alive, he’d go to work every day and come home to me. All I did, day-in and day-out, was cook and clean. A child was not in the cards for us, unfortunately, but I always wondered what it would be like to have kids, have my own job, pay my own bills, and so on.

I caught the first train on Poplar St. I saw the most beautiful statues, rode by the museum, and watched a group of kids play outside with their jump rope. It was amazing! Suburbia was a lot different than the big city. It wasn't long before I ended up at my destination - the library. “Wow," I said to myself, “I haven’t been to a library since I was a little girl." It felt amazing to come back to the place I used to adore coming to. Daddy used to take me here all the time and read books to me. I never realized how much nostalgia this place contained for me. I guess Daddy dying when I was only 12 years old stopped me from having a love for reading books and taking trips to the library. "Hello, miss. How can I assist you?” said a lady walking towards me from across the room. “Hello, I'm looking for where the newspapers are located.” The kind lady then walked me over to where she kept the newspapers.

I figured it was time for me to get out of the house to find a job. Brentley didn’t get to finish paying off the mortgage, so It looks like that’s my job now. I took a seat as the kind lady brought me a big stack of newspapers full of "Help Wanted" ads. I felt so confident once she brought the newspapers to me. Next, I figured that I would head home, fix myself a cup of tea, and start searching for a job. When I got home I found that my beloved sister had a note waiting on me at the door. It read “Hello, dearest sister. I hate to be a bother, but I came by this morning, and you weren’t home. I just wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay, I love you dearly. Sincerely, Josephine.“ Ever since Brentely passed, she’s been writing me the most amazing notes. I would read every single one of them and write her back. With a big smile on my face, I then went inside, fixed my tea, watered my plants, took a shower, and went to bed.

A few days later, I caught the train and headed to my first interview. As I got onto the train, I saw the most attractive man sitting by himself reading a very interesting book. He looked at me as I was sitting down and greeted me with his dazzling eyes. “Hello, ma’am,” he said, “Isn’t it a lovely day to ride a train?” I was struck breathless with his dark brown eyes that tended to sparkle - as if he was staring into my soul. He had a fitted black suit with a cane. I looked at him and said “Yes, It is a lovely day”, When the train stopped, he looked at me and smiled as he walked off. Nothing more was said.

Once I arrived at the interview, a young man walked up to me and told me to come to the back of the room where they could interview me on my experience in working with others and mailing papers. I told them I hadn't had a job for a long time and that my late husband took care of me before he passed away. It wasn't long before the young man and his boss showed me everything I needed to do to start my job. After leaving the interview, I decided to take a nice walk around the city. I ended up at the dog park and realized something. Since me and Brentley never had a chance to have any kids, we never had any challenging responsibilities either. I thought to myself, "A new job means I can take care of somebody...or something." So, I walked over to the pound to get myself a dog.

Before I walked in, I recognized someone walking towards me on the sidewalk. It was the handsome man from the train ride earlier today. “Hello, sir,” I said. “Hello,” he replied, “Haven’t I seen you somewhere?” “Yes,'' I said, “from the train ride earlier today." He looked at me with his gorgeous, white teeth and complimented the dress that I wore today. "My name is Richard. What's yours?“ he said. "Louise...Louise Mallard." He then asked if I wanted to grab coffee with him. I replied, “Yes, my treat!" I was really wanting to get me a dog today, but it looked like my plans changed rather dramatically!

When we walked into the coffee shop, he told me that the fragrance I sprayed on me this morning smelled wonderful. It reminded him of his childhood, specifically when his mother was getting ready to take him to school. Richard and I talked for hours and hours. As we were walking out, he immediately stopped in his tracks, as if a lightbulb had just gone off in his head. "Were you married to Brentley Mallard?” I said “Yes, he was my husband, and I had planned to be with him forever. The 'til death do us part' of our vows came a little early for him, though.” Richard responded, "I thought you looked familiar. I worked with Richard a long time ago. I'm so very sorry for your loss. He was a good man."

Afterwards, we continued to walk back towards the train station. Before he walked on, he asked me if he could give me with a goodnight kiss. I said yes, but only if I could see him again. "I would like that a lot" he whispered." Like a gentleman, he lifted my right hand and kissed it ever so softly before he caught the train back home. I thought to myself that it’s been almost three months since Brentley died, and I’ve spent so much time trying to find peace in my heart that I didn't realize that could find love as well. I really like Richard, and I know he likes me too.

A few weeks later, I woke up with the most joy in the world. I had a great job, a great boyfriend, and I was now on the way to finally pick up a great dog. Richard met me this morning and walked with me inside the pound. As I scanned the room, I saw that there was a new puppy that had arrived at the pound just a couple of weeks ago. Richard and I sat down to play with the little fur ball. Everything was fine, until a random thought popped into my head.

I stared at Richard for a second before asking him if I could talk to him about something that was very important, to which he said yes. "Richard, I have such strong feelings for you. I wasn’t sure that I’d be ready for another relationship until we met. It's still only been a few of months since Brentley passed away. Before he was gone, he told me to find happiness. I need to know - can I find it with you?" He grabbed my hand, looked deep into my soul with those sparkly, brown eyes, and said, "I understand if you don't want to see me anymore because of a broken heart. But, if there's a chance that this can lead somewhere, I want you to follow it. I truly believe it will lead you right here, to my arms." My heart melted because I started to feel awful for having these thoughts and feelings. I wish I didn’t have to feel so guilty about my life after, me falling in love with someone else so soon. But true love comes from the heart.

What should I do?